Well Grandma Korgie died at about 4 am Friday morning. I miss her and Grandpa Korgie. I have good memories of birthdays when I was a little kid and the old piece of crap blue and white van would pull up and they would pull out a brand new big wheel out of the back for me. That was back when I was the only grandkid I think and I was spoiled and got cool stuff like that. I also have a good memory of the smell of Dove soap. I remember that’s what Grandma had in her upstairs bathroom when I would stay overnight and would take a bath there. In fact I bought some the other day because I like that smell so much. Reminds me of a simpler time I suppose. I also miss going to the cabin back in the beginning when they and my parents first bought it and we were out there every second of the summer. Mom told me that they finally sold it to some people that Dave (the landlord) knows. Just as well I suppose. I think the last one that spent any amount of time out there was me when I stayed out there for a few months before I moved to Lincoln. That was 2 and a half years ago. Mom and Dad never go out there anymore because it’s just no fun. All they do is spend all their time working and fixing things and then they go home. The sands of time change everything don’t they? Rest in peace Grandma.
Well I started running tonight. It wasn’t as bad as I remember. Then again I have always been smoking when I tried to run and it made me want to pass out after a couple of blocks. I think a couple of times I actually smoked while trying to run. Heh. Lot of good that does huh? I’m up to 10 days without a cigarette and I feel a hell of a lot better. I have been smoking for… 13 or 14 years? Jeez. Anyway the dog thought it was great although I think he prefers to go on normal walks because he can stop and pee on everything within range. He loves to run though too. He hasn’t gotten to do it much. I definitely need to do it in the mornings though because now I am wired and sitting up at 3 am when I went out running at about midnight. Tomorrow I am going to go down to the YMCA to get a membership so I can go work out and maybe meet some new people. $47 bucks a month isn’t bad compared to a membership at a health club I suppose. I just gotta make sure I use it and not just pay the fee.
I suppose that I am just trying to make some changes in my life. I have been pretty unhappy for a long time I suppose. The only one who is going to change anything is me. I am never going to get anywhere spending all my time in my room in the basement sleeping 14 hours a day. The happiness fairy isn’t going to come with her magic wand and touch me on the shoulder (while I’m sleeping of course) and give my life a little meaning, make my job satisfying, and introduce me to a girl who will be the love of my life. I have been thinking for a little while about getting back into church. Well “getting back” into church isn’t really a good description I suppose. I never really was into church. For a while back in the day Mom tried to get into it and she made me go but I hated it. I was a kid at the time though. I really don’t know what church to go to though. Dad’s side of the family are big time Catholics. I was baptized as a Lutheran. Catholicism isn’t really for me though. I have always felt that a lot of their idioligy is pretty dated and that they aren’t with the times on a lot of issues. I have always thought that someone’s religious beliefs were a pretty personal matter and you shouldn’t judge other people on what they believe. I have had many an argument with various people who have informed me that since I don’t believe what they believe I am going to hell. I think that the only reason that religions exist is so that you can be a good person and do the right thing. I have found that a lot of people use it to feel more elite than someone else. I have actually been thinking about joining the United Church of Christ. You may have seen the commercials with the bouncers and velvet rope that have been on TV this week. I actually have been researching the various branches of religion and their individual dogmas for the last couple months or so and I thought that the UCC’s views were most in line with the way I think. They have more of a live and let live sort of view that I like, rather than the do as I say or you’re evil. I might wander down there some Sunday and take a look. Maybe get involved with some volunteer stuff there. Better than sleeping 14 hours a day? We will see.