What is it? A dog? Cat? Spider monkey? Sadly no but how kick ass would it be to have a spider monkey? I mean other than the feces throwing and various monkey diseases. No friends and countrymen I got none of those things. For your viewing pleasure I now present to you my new pet.
Chad!
Chad is a crown tail betta, AKA siamese fighting fish. I was in Walmart the other night at about 2AM or so because I was bored and wandered back in the fish isle. I was of course thinking of getting buying all the various implements for having a full fledged fish tank despite my previous failures in this area and the never ending cost of replacing filters, buying replacement crap and having fish that die within about 6 hours of putting them in the tank. That’s when I turned around and saw Chad on the shelf behind me all by his lonesome in his 2 cup container of dirty water. I actually thought he was dead at first until I gave him a little shake. Now that’s the fish for me! Room to move around? pffft. Bubbles? pffft. Clean water? pffft. Food? pffft. This fish needs none of those things! This fish is a hard ass bred for fighting like Michael Vick’s dogs or cockfighting chickens and shit! I got him a bowl and some rocks to resemble his natural habitat of… Shit I don’t know what a fighting fish’s natural habitat is, I guess their natural habitat is a little cup with 2 cups of dirty water since you never see them anywhere else. Ok just Wikied that and they are native to Thailand rice patties. Anyway, Chad seems to be as pleased as a pig in shit in his new habitat on my desk puffing himself up and swimming around in circles.
You just wasted a minute of your life reading this instead of doing something constructive… HA!
Chad huh? Where did you come up with that name?
Well it was either Chad or Gary but I decided to save Gary for a more substantial pet.