“How’d ya do?”

“I won!”

I’ve done a couple of races in the last couple weeks which I of course didn’t really win, but that’s what I say when people ask.  In all seriousness I’m extremely happy to finish in the top 50%, but usually don’t.  I’ve gotten a few third place medals, but only on technicalities.   Took 3rd in a team triathlon (I was paired with someone much younger and there were only 3 teams in that age group), I took third place men’s in a 5k (there were only 11 people in the whole race), and I took third place in my age group in another 5k (several people ahead of me were disqualified, for what I don’t know but I didn’t even get my medal for that one because I ran the race while on vacation in Wisconsin and then left without knowing I was even in the running for anything).  So yea, not exactly a speed demon.  I’ve got more of a Clydesdale with a broken leg carrying a fat guy on his back while dragging a cart that’s filled with old car batteries that has a wheel with a flat spot kind of speed going for me.  Oh well, I do what I can with what I’ve got.

Anyway, the whole family went up to Omaha on Memorial Day to do a race at Boy’s Town, a fund raiser for… something…  I don’t remember now for sure.  We saw the “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother” statue out front which Jessica didn’t know about other than knowing of the song from the late 60s with that title.  The whole thing was pretty fun because it was Alexander’s very first race and I got to run it with him.  His was only a quarter mile and was filled with lots of other little kids who were around his age, which came with the usual things that come with a large group of kids his age like one of them getting scared in the middle of the race and breaking down bawling because he didn’t know what the hell was going on or what to do.  Alexander was a bit freaked out too but he was ok once he knew I was going to stay with him.  I was super proud of him because he ran the whole way and did great!  We had matching red shirts and blue socks (he chose the socks and gave them to me for my birthday) so we were quite the pair.  Afterward I did the 5 mile race while he and Jessica partook in the festivities, there was lots of people in costumes to entertain the kids and entertainment to make it relatively fun for young people so it was a good experience for everyone.  He came out of it with an orange Mohawk, several temporary tattoos and a personal encounter with several Imperial Storm Troopers, Chewbacca and Batman.  I’ll probably make up a little picture display for his race bib and finishers ribbon and our picture.  Probably not something he will care much about when he gets older but it’s a good memory for me so I’ll hang it in my office or something.

The second race I did was the Warrior Dash obstacle race on Saturday.  It’s the second one of these that I’ve done, Jessica was supposed to have done it with me and we had signed up for it a year ago after my first one but she went and got pregnant on purpose just to get out of doing it!  Not really, she would never get pregnant on purpose of course, we were perfectly happy with one, we aren’t the Duggars after all.  Anyway, since I had a paid for registration that was transferable I talked Trent and Panther (yea I know, it’s weird how nicknames stick) at work into running it too so I didn’t have to go by myself.  In the months leading up to the race I kept asking them when they were going to start training and the answer was always “Soon”, which for Trent turned into “None” training, and for Panther riding his bike to work a few times which stopped when his butt hurt from the seat.  Didn’t matter to me, I told they that they were going to do it, training or no training and I wasn’t going to let anyone puss out at the very last minute.  On the morning of the race I show up at the butt crack of dark at work to pick them up (they both work the overnight shift), open the door and the first thing I hear out of Trent’s mouth is him telling me that he’s not going because it’s gonna rain and he’ll be cold and wet and it’ll suck, to which I replied, “ITS A FREAKIN’ WARRIOR DASH, NOT A PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS MY LITTLE PONY TEA PARTY, NOW GET YOUR CRAP AND GET IN THE CAR, YOU’RE GOING!”  Which he did, and then complained the next 2 hours during the drive about how miserable it was going to be because his phone said there was an 80% chance of rain, to which I replied that meant there was a 20% chance on no rain!

We got there and got our stuff, I had to give them the run through of how things work and what to do since this was the very first race for either of them.  We were in the first non competitive wave at 9am after the real athletes did their for real race at 8:30.  After the race started Trent made a rookie mistake and took off out of the chute way too fast and got out pretty far ahead, while I took it slow because I knew what was coming and ran with Panther at a relatively easy pace so I wouldn’t step in a hole and blow my knee out.  As we were doing that I looked ahead and went, “Panther look!  IT’S THE SWEDE!”  Who is The Swede?  It’s this giant tattooed guy that was in the race last year that I named The Swede, I wanted to beat him so bad last year and I had him until right at the very end when I got stuck in the mud helping some girl who was stuck and crying while everyone went around her.  Because of that The Swede beat me out right at the last second at the finish line.  Well now I had my target!  Trent stayed ahead of us for the first, oh maybe three quarters of a mile or so before we reeled him in, as I passed him he was looking pretty green and sick, probably wishing he had trained a little bit.  We all started up the first big hill and I turned to say something and… whoops, no more Trent or Panther.  I ran the rest of the race on my own, seeing them once along the way on a loop when I was 2 obstacles ahead.  I finished the race (thoroughly beating The Swede) and Click and Clack finished 20 minutes later, having their asses thoroughly kicked by the course.  Guess what, not a drop of rain fell while we were running and Trent wants to do it again next year.

I’m trying to do the running streak thing again this year where you have to run at least a mile a day for a year to even make it on the list.  I made it about 3 months last year before I stopped, don’t remember why, probably an injury but I started it again on my birthday and I’m 22 days in.  I also want to do a thousand miles over the year, which I didn’t accomplish last year either, but I guess it’s all about the journey and not the destination right?  I’ve also been dieting and tracking my calories over the last couple months, which I completely hate but I’m down about 10 pounds and feel better.  I miss my metabolism from 20 years ago when I had abs and didn’t throw my back out doing seemingly nothing.  I’ve also lowered my blood pressure a bit which is good because I’ve got my health screening at work for the health insurance coming up soon which I never do great it (Jessica always gets a perfect score and pulls our average up enough for the full discount).  That’s enough for today, it’s a 1400 word, running heavy post, thoroughly uninteresting to most people I’m sure.